May 30, 2003
Heh.
Weekend LARPing. But do you have to wear your goblin costume to bed?
I dunno if this is such a good idea.
Come this fall students at the University of Calgary will have a new Computer science course to pick from; a virus writing course. The professor of the course, Dr. John Aycock, convinced the university that if students were to make effective anti-virus software they would need to know how to makes the viruses themselves. So in this curriculum students do just that, making viruses and later trying to stop them. Sounds like a good plan in theory, but opponents of the class say that teaching such things to students would only encourage them to write malicious software and that there is little to no benefit to their anti-virus writing skills."
"They are not really employable as virus writers," Barker said.
However, students who opt for the Calgary class won't be able to turn to antivirus software maker Sophos for employment after they graduate.
"Don't bother applying for a job at Sophos if you have written viruses, because you will be turned away," Sophos co-CEO Jan Hruska said in a statement. "The skills required to write good antivirus software are far removed from those needed to write a virus. With 80,000 viruses in existence there can be no excuse for teaching students on how to create more."
You know what this means, right?
Coming soon: stamps that cost $1.25!
I have a dilemma here.
On the one hand, I normally refuse to link to sites that make you register with usernames/passwords or watch an ad before viewing. I'll either say "fuck it" or find an alternate link. However, I can do neither in this case because it's just too darn good. The picture on this link is great, I'll give you the relevant info from the NYT:
"The Snuggle bear is 20 and on advice of his media consultant he has lost the giggle and hangs out with models." (Note: in the picture with this caption, a model is wearing a shortish skirt and is sitting semi-legs-spread facing Snuggle, who is tactfully(?) looking away from the proposed beaver shot. Ew.)
"With a blissful demeanor, squeaky voice and high-pitch giggle, Snuggle, the longtime spokescreature for the Snuggle brand of fabric softener, used to behave like a Care Bear. Now cuddly Snuggle is getting an image update, becoming a devil-may-care bear, complete with sunglasses à la Tom Cruise, dates with models and knowing winks to the audience.
That is the reason for the humorous spoofs of fragrance ads, which include homages to the surreal "Share the Fantasy" campaign for Chanel No. 5 and the arty, black-and-white campaigns for myriad Calvin Klein scents. In one commercial, Snuggle, sitting poolside, brings a sopping wet Brazilian model named Sandra Fockink a towel — laundered in Sunkissed Breeze Snuggle, natch.
In another spot, as Ms. Fockink visits the seashore, she is joined in the romantic interlude by a male companion, with Snuggle in the role normally assigned to a buff hottie.
"We're making the bear a little more smooth, a little more suave, a little more smart, a little more hip."
As for Snuggle's dalliance with the Brazilian model, Mr. Baer said, laughing, "He's terrific on sheets."
Oh man. That's just DIRTY!
*shudder*
I love what FARK had to say about this: "To all the losers who've proposed to Scott Peterson."
867-5309 girl gets number mixed up with God's.
Really, that's the one thing I found interesting about this article. Actually, it gets quite sickening with all the "To call God, call on Jesus! It's a local call!" talk. (Local HOW?)
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes
Rabbit ESP? Is that why Anya was so frightened?
This is actually a quite dull interview.
Hell, it could be about pretty much any generic British student, except for who this guy's parents are.
I don't get...
why anyone would want to go on this show anyway.
I'm surprised they haven't tried...
this in my town yet.
Amen.
"On April 11, State Department spokesman Richard Boucher stated our goal in Iraq: “to create a situation where Iraqis can express themselves freely, where all points of view can be expressed freely and without intimidation or violence.”
In the same week, the Baseball Hall of Fame canceled a celebration of the great baseball film Bull Durham because two of its actors, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, had engaged in “public criticism of President Bush.” On the Web and elsewhere, Americans have been urged to boycott actors and others who publicly raise questions about our government’s policies with regard to Iraq.
How have we come to a place where we advocate “freedom of expression” for Iraqis “without fear of intimidation or reprisal” but organize economic reprisals and intimidation against those who criticize government policy here at home? Is it that we fail to understand or to teach the role of dissent in a free society?"
You know, I've been thinking the same thing ever since seeing those previews.
"Meanwhile, Ellen DeGeneres is charming as the voice of an absent-minded blue fish named Dory. All this time doing TV and stand-up and she finds her dream role playing a fish."
The proliferation of...
political playing cards continues.
How did THIS happen?!
Gay Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Uh, what? Who, me?
Tomboy
What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla
Somehow I think my fellow poster will like the results I got here.
You should be a Scorpio, your Passionate,
emotional, and determined, but you can be
obsessive, unforgiving, and a little arrogant
~*What is your TRUE Zodica sign?*~(WITH NEW PIC'S!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla
May 29, 2003
Silent Dinner
I am currently taking an ASL class, and wish that we had something like this going on here.
Marketers of God
Convert to Judaism and get superpowers and a free hat!
I also rather like Unitarianism: "the only religion patterned after elevator music. Worship in a friendly, easy-going environment, or shoot spitwads at fellow parishoners. Just saying you're Unitarian is good enough for us."
In our currently warmongering climate, why am I still surprised to hear that...
a Nebraska lawmaker wants to go to war with Iowa?
Excuses, excuses!
"Universal Studios is defending the use of a seemingly bogus phone number in the smash hit Jim Carrey comedy "Bruce Almighty" -- which is causing some mighty huge headaches for various people all over the country.
A Universal spokeswoman told Colorado's Rocky Mountain News Wednesday that the reason the phone number was used in "Bruce Almighty," was because the prefix doesn't exist in Buffalo, N.Y., where the movie is set." Uh, right, like people in America are smart enough to figure this out on their own?
Homey misses Buffy a bit too much, ya think?
Heard on CNN but can't find a link: "A mentally unstable man attempted to hijack an Australian airliner with two sharpened wooden stakes. He stabbed two stewardesses before being overpowered and subdued by passengers. Both stwardesses are in critical but stable condition.
No link to any terrorist orginization has yet been established."
Once again proving that ANYTHING can be proven via the Bible...
Jesus has been outed. Of course. It was inevitable, wasn't it?
"Dr Rollan McCleary said Jesus's astrological chart, clues in the scriptures and biblical translations, all played a part in his conclusions.
An Anglican and a qualified reader of astrological charts, Dr McCleary said the planet Uranus figured prominently in Jesus's astrological chart, as it did with many gays." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Watch your pets!
"German shepherds are Britain's unluckiest breed of dog.
A new survey also found border collies are the second most accident-prone, followed by German pointers and Great Danes.
The statistics are based on an online poll of 500 owners.
The top three "unlucky" incidents were swallowing a toy, followed by running away from the vet and getting a head trapped in the cat flap.
Another frequent accident for dogs was falling down the toilet.
Among the tales told by pet lovers included how a greedy bull terrier swallowed a bottle cap, cling film, a toy car and some wire.
The dog was operated on and put on a drip. It then ate the drip.
Another dog got stuck between the conservatory and the garden wall and had to be removed with fairy liquid."
And you thought your dog was bad about terrorizing the mailman...
Is anyone surprised to hear this?
Eminem says he doesn't mind using bad language in front of his daughter.
Can I get a woot woot?
"California history was made in Davis tonight, but there wasn't a single reporter there to cover the story. Actually, I guess the history was made a week or so ago, and it was only made official tonight. But I was there.
At 6:30 p.m. tonight, in City Council chambers, my friends Ellen and Shelly were presented with Resolution 03-58, making Davis the first city in the state of California to officially support ending marriage law discrimation for same gender couples."
Buy your cool merchandise
while you still can. Sniff. My fellow poster and I am buying up so much yesterday and today it ain't even funny. I planned on putting up more links today, and yet I am too distracted and reclicking around the site to read anyone else. Sheesh. And lunch is mostly over by now.
Is this a good sign?
(Note: non-perma link, will probably change in a week) Hot Flash! Trophy Wife Models Are Passé: Rudy to Jack Welch, Remarrying Geezers Get Middle-Aged Babes With Power Dowries.
"From Gerald Levin to Jack Welch to Rudy Giuliani, the Judi Nathans of New York have been elbowing the 25-year-olds aside. They’re a new breed of fortysomething Superdames who have been around the block—sex bombs who can do a balance sheet and set the dinner table—and they’re retiring the old-fashioned Bimbettes from the forefront of New York society.
How do we account for this spate of middle-aged drinks of water taking over from the retired phalanx of day-old cupcakes?
For one thing, the economy. If, in the 1950’s, diamonds were a girl’s best friend, in the early 21st century, a second income is a boy’s. "You complete me" may not refer as much to the heart these days as the budget. Ever since the crash, a potential spouse’s kickass career is as much of a draw as her body. When it comes to a second wife, why take on the cargo of a young, hot extra dependent—most of these old boys already have a lot of dependents in boarding school and college—when you can strap another engine to your jet, in the form of a high-functioning middle-aged babe with her own income? And probably some money saved from her first divorce?
We’re not talking about Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt here—or even Bill and Hillary Clinton. Picture Teresa Heinz and John Kerry, instead. In the current Elle magazine, Lisa DePaulo describes the Massachusetts Senator and Democratic Presidential candidate and his 64-year-old second wife "nuzzling each other’s necks, in rapt whisper, his enormous paw around her shoulders pushing her close." Mr. Kerry is quoted saying that his wife "is very earthy, sexy, European."
But Ms. Heinz’s foreign-policy credibility was as much of an aphrodisiac as her stacked body. "How many [other] women did he go out with … who could talk to a parliamentarian from Japan about the global environment?" Ms. Heinz told Elle.
A woman with an aura of authority and influence, said Elle editor Roberta Myers, no longer sends men running toward the nearest Hooters: "They find it sexy and interesting. And they better get used to it because more and more women have it."
Well, someone's been having fun.
From the fertile mind of Jayson: the supposed blog of Jayson Blair, in which he er, "writes" poetry and stuff.
*shudder*
The more I read this, the more bothered I get.
"When I give "Melissa" at A Center for Women the same story about using drugs and not knowing who the father of my baby is, her mouth drops and her eyes go wide. But her disgust with my lifestyle doesn't change her opinion that an abortion is unacceptable. "I don't feel it would be healthy or right for you," she says.
"But, I really don't like kids," I tell her. "When I hear them screaming in supermarkets, all I can think is, 'If that kid doesn't shut up, I'm gonna strangle it.' I'd be a bad mother."
"I don't think you'd be a bad mother," she insists.
Before leaving, I ask Melissa how long I can wait to get an abortion. She gives me the same answer I got at JMJ Life Center: "Up to nine months. You can walk in the day before your due date and get one. There's no law about it."
As mentioned earlier, that is simply not true. Under Florida Statute 390.0111, the law states that third-trimester abortion is only permitted "to save the life or preserve the health" of a pregnant woman, and that a physician must attest to such a circumstance in writing."
And if my fetus is already damaged from drug use, Maria says, "Even if your baby only lives for two weeks, at least you'd know that God took its life and not you."
"Giving the baby life," in every case, was deemed more important than my life.
And they wonder why teenagers are so screwed up.
"This is the vicious double standard. This is the insane mixed message, worse than it ever was, hammering into these sexually mal-educated kids the idea that sex is, of course, the greatest goddamn thing in the entire history of the known universe ever and is the only thing really worth living for, and is concomitantly also the ickiest most disease-riddled guilt-packed disgustingly wrong and blasphemous and abusive and victimizing act you can ever do with another person with the notable exception of convincing them to turn Republican.
Want to know what's really to blame for the vast majority of sad teen pregnancies and drunken backseat gropings and really unpleasant de-virginizing experiences in this country?
Want to know the root cause of nearly every crude high school lug thinking sex means pumping like a jackhammer for two grunting minutes and every beautiful girl thinking sexual pleasure means lying there frozen and pretending to moan for those two same minutes? You got it -- it's that very same mixed message.
This is the problem. There is no survey that addresses true teen sex. There is no data, no stats, no one really celebrating the idea that, because teens are, have always been and will continue to be, absolutely and insanely sexually demonically possessed, that maybe, just maybe they should be, gasp oh my God don't say it, encouraged to enjoy sex as the raw and real and consensual and mutually beneficial and sticky and wonderful and tricky and deeply mindful but ultimately glorious act it so bafflingly is. Wow what a radical notion."
May 28, 2003
Lifestyles of the Rich and Despotic!
Dictators sure don't know how to decorate.
Oh yeah, I wanna join that cheerleading squad
Pointed out by Fahrvergnugen, the world's coolest cheerleaders from an art institute.
"Activities range from art gallery appearances to impromptu "guerrilla cheers" on the street.
"There's a lot of things that I really want to do, but I don't know if they're feasible," Trinka-Browner said. "I'd like to cheer for planes landing at the airport."
Leave it to Rah-Booty! to try. The group will play its highest-profile gig when it opens for legendary punk rockers the Cramps on Thursday night at the Madrid Theatre.
Rah-Booty!'s frequently raunchy cheers and dance routines -- not to mention its piercings, tattoos and armpit hair -- offer a nontraditional image of cheerleading, to say the least.
"And we're using cheerleading as a medium to change the stereotype of fake pep and blond-haired girls and big boobs and skirts. That's what America thinks of when they think of cheerleaders."
"Traditional cheerleaders are cheering for a male team," she said. "We cheer for whatever the hell we want to."
Subject matter will include the usually hush-hush discomfort of female urinary tract infections ("If you wanna get with me, you better have some cranberry!"), anti-war sentiments ("Ka-boom! Ka-bang! Look at the bombs do their thing!") and the suggestion that some women get married for -- gasp! -- the wrong reasons ("I'm getting married! Cause he's hot, hot, hot! Hot, hot, hot! I got a bling-bling! Oh, yes, a pretty ring! It was a big, fat rock! Rock, rock, rock!")."
Vampire? Mullet? What is this?
This is supposed to be a BRIDESMAID'S DRESS?!
Man, it gets depressing when people find religion.
"Joseph (Afroman) Foreman, who found worldwide success with his humorous song "Because I Got High" in 2001, has given his life to God, BlackVibe.com reports.
Problem? Universal Records. Foreman, quoted in the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American said: "They want to keep me in the marijuana jar. They want me to be Redd Foxx."
It has come to this -- Foreman said that he may change his name and use a symbol instead, just like Prince."
Her logic does not compute, Captain.
Dude, if the pain of labor was that bad, why would you think that jumping into a well would help the situation?
Lucius Malfoy's book...
How to Kill Friends and Influence People. Coolness!
Heh heh heh.
I am 64% Evil Genius
Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.
Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com
I can't believe they are going to make a movie about...
Today's Onion Fun
Bassist unaware that he's in a Christian rock band.
What Do You Think? "Congress is exploring ways to combat the problem of "spam," the wave of junk e-mail that has clogged e-mail systems and cost U.S. businesses billions. What do you think?
* "Thank goodness Congress is going to do something about this problem. This should all be cleared up in, like, three weeks."
* "Gee, you make one little online inquiry into dripping wet teen pussies getting pounded by 12-inch horse cocks, and you're swamped for the rest of your life."
* "Every day, I get these annoying spams that are nothing but cookie recipes and forwarded articles about the benefits of Vitamin C and photos of cats. Wait--those are from my mom."
* "MY NAME IS ALFRED MUGABE. I KNOW OF 10 MILLIONS U.S. DOLLARS IN A NIGERIAN BANK AND MUST FIND AN ACCOUNT INTO WHICH TO TRANSFER THE MONIES."
Alfred Mugabe
Businessman
* "If not for spam, I never would have met my boyfriend. His name is 8g391b66t274@prize- claimcenter.com."
* "Even more disturbing than this never-ending torrent of junk e-mail is the fact that, apparently, they must actually work once in a while."
Fire Safety Tips:
"Space heaters are a serious fire hazard and should never be used. (This tip courtesy of your mother.)
Remember: The old adage "Fight fire with fire" does not apply to non-metaphorical fires."
And my personal favorite: "Beware the lustful fires that burn in a librarian's heart. They can rage beyond all control." Especially fun when paired with this.
Someone remind me of this the next time I vaguely consider going to grad school.
"The world has worse tragedies than Ph.D.s driving buses. Still, this mismatch between professorships available and Ph.D.s granted is a colossal waste of brainpower sorely needed elsewhere. Universities that glut the doctorate market bear much responsibility for the situation. But graduate students aren't blameless.
These men and women have chosen to spend years training for jobs that don't exist by accruing knowledge no one will pay for. The most devoted to their passion may decide that's all right. But the "starving Ph.D." phenomenon is here to stay. Even the ivory tower can't save anyone from that reality.
The Modern Language Association counted only 431 tenure-track English jobs landed in 2001, compared with 977 English Ph.D.s granted. One 1999 study found that only 53% of students who received their English doctorates between 1983 and 1985 were tenured professors by 1995. A mere 8% were tenured professors at "Carnegie Research I institutions" universities with their own major doctoral programs.
All fine if everyone knows the odds. But 51% of these English Ph.D.s took nine or more years to finish their degrees, and 95% took more than five. Would they have invested that kind of time if they had understood they had only an 8% chance of landing jobs like their professors held? One survey found only 35% of students received realistic job-placement information from their departments." OUCH.
Anyone else kinda squicked at the idea of...
Coke making a milk-based drink?
Sign me up for those classes!
The Absolute Bottom Fifty College Courses:
"Women's Studies 12: Systematic Objectification and Exploitation of the Naked Female Form by the Dead White Pornographer Michelangelo
Political Science 404: It's Not Lying When It's "Spin"
Home Economics 304: Being Just Another Baby-Maker
International Relations 101: Demanding That Foreigners Speak English
Philosophy 117: Pretending to Care About Kant
Human Sexuality 303: Oedipus or Lolita: Men Can't Win
African American Studies 155: Language, Discourse, and Verbal Style in the Motherfucking African Diaspora
Celtic 138r: The Yrgle Opwsich, The Prdll Choergl, and The Mabinogi - Distinguishing Genuine Celtic From Horseshit
Art 205: Scrotums and Penises in Rennaisance Sculpture
American Studies 405: Senior Seminar: Dispelling the Pipe Dream of Employment
Women's Studies 208: "Bitch, Fix Me Dinner!" - Embracing the Reality of Domesticity
Theatre 120: Adjusting Your Sissy-Pants Beret and Cape
Computer Science 101: This Year, You Need to Take More Than Just This Class to Score a $75K Gig at Some Retard Dotcom"
Huh, now there's an interesting way to er, discuss Buffy.
"Chosen One: A Buffy the Vampire Slayer Musical Review" (warning: PDF). Lots of Les Mis and Chorus Line songs used.
My favorite lines:
"Willow: Oh, I don't sing. They don't like it when I sing.
Giles: If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, Anya, we aren't researching bunnies.
Anya: You always say that, but one of these days...
Giles: I assure you, bunnies have never been responsible for the evil in this world."
I have a hard time picturing Faith singing "Sixteen Going On Seventeen," though. But I rather like the "It's A Hard Knock Life" version. "Instead of makeup, we get stakes, instead of boyfriends we get flakes.
Don't it feel like the world is always ending, don't you wonder if we're just all fools, every day you should be out patrolling, it's easier than going back to school!"
All that stuff about how men analyze, categorize, etc.?
Means they're genetically nerds. Hee.
Males are, in many ways, parasites upon their partners," Jones notes. "Their interests are to persuade the other party to invest in reproduction, while doing as little as they can themselves. Like all vermin, from viruses to tapeworms, they force their reluctant landlady to adapt or to be overwhelmed."
Is this bad, or just funny?
Itrick: the gay guy's little black book.
Doesn't this sound like a good deal?
Buy an wadded paper origami boulder for $10.
The questions page is hilarious.
"I am a new fan of your art, but unfortunately I am very low on money and ethics and I was wondering, are there any good person to person origami sharing programs that you know of?
Thanks,
JJ
Very appropriate that email from no-ethics thief come from .edu university address, where so-called "students" steal everything from homework assignment to software and MP3 collection.
Only thing student learn in university these day is how to become dishonest corporate executive and end up in prison.
Start out by cheating for good grades on transcript. End up cheating for "good grade" on balance sheet.
Only surprise is you not write email in ridiculous text message style like "whr can I get ur product free dude!" because most student also too dumb to use whole word."
For all of your animal sex advice, look here!
"Dr. Tatiana" grew out of a piece she was asked to write for a Christmas issue on the biology of sex.
"I wrote the piece," she remembers, "but it was kind of boring. I couldn't get it really going somehow." Then one evening she was talking about the piece with two colleagues in the kitchen of one of them during a party. "We were talking in particular about the queen bee and how she flies off trailing thousands of drones. The odds are 25,000 to 1 against any one of them having sex with her. But those who do go out with a bang. Their penises explode, leaving their genitalia in place in her body.
"Then someone said, 'What if Ann Landers got a letter saying, "My lover has just exploded! What do I do?" ' And suddenly, hey! The light went on."
May 27, 2003
So much for that, I guess.
So, the paper clip dude made a long enough chain for the record, but ran into a snag afterwards. Bummer.
Oh, the joys of traveling in this day and age...
and being transgendered.
For those of you who were wondering...
yes, the phenomenal number of posts is what happens when I'm not on the Internet very much for three days. Holy cow.
Here I come to save the day...or not
Once upon a time, a bunch of folks decided to create a fake superhero, MonkeyMan. Hilarity ensued.
The next Douglas Adams-type?
Here's a list of his interesting quotes, such as:
"One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of god’s existence.
Sanity’s a virginity of the mind
One thing you’ll say for skeletons, they’ll always give you a smile."
I'm afraid to ask who would want these things.
I'm also afraid to find out what they look like.
And you thought working at McDonald's to support your art had its issues.
Saddam's personal statuemakers were pretty bored by the job. "All of them, the many heroic iterations of Saddam and his close company, are the denizens of the former Arts Directorate foundry, one of five or so factories around the country that built monumental statues to satisfy the preening narcissism that often accompanies dictatorship.
"Of course we were amazed all the time about the orders for statues," said Farid Hussein, a supervisor at the factory and no relation to the deposed leader, as he roamed the abandoned grounds. "We would think, 'Oh, no, not another statue of Saddam.'"
There were so many Saddams - usually four or five a year from this factory alone in the more than 20 years that Farid Hussein worked here - that he said it was hard to keep track of any that were special.
"He would be raising his arm, or riding a horse," Hussein said, referring to the statues that were ordered. "The ones of Saddam were all the same. Whether he raises his hand or lowers it, he's still Saddam."
Monotony, though, was not reason enough for Farid Hussein, 45, a trained sculptor, or for others at the factory to quit in an economy that crumbled further each year. They also made their own sculpture here, secretly using the foundry's facilities and storing their art at home.
However exacting the Iraqi dictator was toward the rest of the country, the monuments produced at the foundry invariably pleased him, Farid Hussein said.
"He liked every one of the statues," he said of the former leader, "because there is no one who does not think a representation of him isn't beautiful."
Perhaps this is why...
you should choose your town names more carefully so as to not make them be mixed up with restrooms.
On another note, I've always wondered why the community college in my hometown is named "Little Butts." Putting that in Spanish does not make that any better....
Heh, this amuses me.
"High school students slouch into the biology lab for a club meeting and do, um, what exactly?
"Nothing," club coordinator Bill Wagner confessed. In fact, he gloated. "No charity, no hugging, no community service. Nothing."
By definition, aimlessness must, he insists, be the cornerstone of a "Seinfeld Club," a social structure for those who revel in the structureless 1990s sitcom that - in a spoof about itself - once insisted it was "about nothing."
"We did talk about adopting a highway," said Wagner, a 20-year educator who teaches Advanced Placement biology in the Dallas School District. The kids wanted drivers to see a sign that said "adopted by Kramer" - as in Cosmo Kramer, Jerry Seinfeld's neighbor in the series.
But volunteering to clean litter from roads "would be a violation of the philosophy. It's the antithesis. The kids say it's nice to join a club where you don't have to do anything."
Well, then, is it about philosophy?
"We do have a copy of the book 'Seinfeld and Philosophy,'°" Wagner admitted. "But do we read it? Naah!"
A quick flip to a random page shows why a Seinfeld Club wouldn't read the book. It says there are "two rules" of any episode: No hugging, no learning.
Neither was visible during a recent meeting. The kids gather twice a week, 30 minutes each time, and do little more than watch one episode. To come, they have to use "flex time" - essentially a free period. A few clubmates let the club meeting double as lunchtime, downing a brown bag between laughs.
This is an elite club. Wannabes must take a test of 50 multiple-choice questions."
I gotta agree with this article.
Hell, the only reason I started wanting a DVD player was so I could watch an entire show season at once instead of getting six videotapes per season the way they used to do it.
Amusing Six Feet Under celebrity cameo death ideas.
Hee!
Fabio: Hit by a wayward goose while riding a roller coaster
Brigitte Bardot: Runs into a burning house to save a pet Arabian hamster
Robert Downey Jr: Inadvertently shot by a woman in a Wonder Woman costume while high on cocaine
Johnny Knoxville: Perishes when a homemade bungee cord gives out
The Olsen twins: Teen Russian-roulette experiment with a BB gun gone wrong.
Oh my lord.
Anyone else think this is just sick? Who the hell would sign up to be on this show as one of the ringers? "Boy Meets Boy" features an eligible man looking for love in a pool of 15 potential mates. But in a twist worthy of the bogus baron on Fox's "Joe Millionaire," some of the suitors are actually heterosexual men who were paid by the program to pretend to be gay -- unbeknownst to the eligible bachelor."
Check THIS wedding picture out.
"A bride who asked for a chauffeur driven limo to pick her up from church was stunned when a giant yellow digger arrived instead.
Elaine Hesketh refused point blank to risk spoiling her expensive wedding gown by clambering aboard the huge excavator.
But when groom Gary gave her no choice, she finally jumped into the bucket for the 5mph journey to the wedding reception.
Former JCB driver Gary had been planning the stunt for weeks behind Elaine's back after he could not "fix it" for a limo.
Elaine had suspected he would try to play some kind of practical joke - and was proved right when they were exchanging vows at Dukinfield, near Tameside, Manchester.
When asked by the vicar if he would take Elaine to be his wife, Gary, an Elvis nut, put on a black wig and responded with "Uh huh" instead of "I do."
Hard to believe.
A girl made more money from keeping her virginity than auctioning it off for sale.
Now THIS...
is forgiveness! (Though I bet she's REALLY sorry about what she did now.)
Ai yi. Imagine what politicians here would make of this.
"Women in a Brazilian town where one in five children don't know the name of their father are raising money for DNA tests.
Many children in the northeastern town of Escada are said to be depressed because they do not have their father's name on their birth certificate.
Now, the town's women have joined together to create DNA Now, an association which aims to allow all of the affected children to have DNA tests.br>
Many women in Escada, where most people work in the sugar cane industry, admit to sexual encounters with more than one man before becoming pregnant.
Maria Barbosa, head of DNA Now, said the project began in the local school after teachers noticed children were depressed because they didn't know who their fathers were.
She said: "20% of the children here don't have their fathers' or grandfathers' names on their birth certificates. Now with the association we will gather money every way we can to pay for DNA tests."
Uh, did the movie people forget why the 555 was created?
Cartoons again.
"cartoons drawn on the back of business cards"
Oh man, and I thought I had way too much spam after a weekend away.
Good lord. "So, from early Friday morning, when I powered down my computer to head off to vacation, to 6am on Tuesday morning, when I am typing this, I have received just short of 1500 pieces of e-mail. Of which six were not spam."
Uh, what?
First, I found this article, which claims that teenagers are so much better at writing these days thanks to stuff like instant messaging and the Internet. "Rich online writing by teenage authors is hardly uncommon, according to those who study electronic correspondence. Instant messaging and e-mail are creating a new generation of teenage writers, accustomed to translating their every thought and feeling into words. They write more than any generation has since the days when telephone calls were rare and the mailman rounded more than once a day.
Some grammarians fear the rules-free nature of online correspondence -- not to mention use of teen code, such as shortening "you" to "u" and typing "ttyl" for "talk to you later" -- will bleed into their students' formal writing. But more and more teachers are concluding that kids' comfort with language actually might improve their writing, if that interest can be harnessed in the right way.
"These kids are very aware of the power of the written word," said Gloria Jacobs, who is writing her doctoral thesis at the University of Rochester on teenagers and instant messaging. "They have this fluency with writing online. They're practically attached to their keyboard, and I think that will help their writing skills."
Then a bit later on, I stumbled across this. Ah, the irony: "Across the United States, high school English and social studies teachers have cut back or simply abandoned the traditional term paper.
Although some students and critics contend that teachers are lazier than in the past, many educators say they can't grade piles of papers for overcrowded classes while trying to meet the increased demands of standardized testing, many of which involve multiple-choice questions. Other teachers believe that term papers are meaningless exercises, because the Internet has made plagiarism more common and difficult to spot. And many say long (10- to 15-page) research papers are pointless, because many students' basic writing skills are weak and are more likely to improve with shorter and more frequent assignments.
A report released recently by the National Commission on Writing in America's Schools and Colleges, a panel of academics gathered by the College Board, found that 75 percent of high school seniors never receive writing assignments in history or social studies. The study also found that a major research and writing project required in the senior year of high school ''has become an educational curiosity, something rarely assigned.'' In addition, by the first year of college, more than 50 percent of freshmen are unable to analyze or synthesize information or produce papers free of language errors.
The commission chairman, C. Peter Magrath, blamed societal changes. ''We don't write letters anymore, because we use telephone and e-mail and watch television,'' he said."
So, either kids can't write, or they can write, and it's all the Internet's fault. My mind boggles.
On a similar note, Columbine points out a list of 100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know. "Eric commented, "I'd be surprised if one out of a thousand adults could accurately define all of these words, so that 'should' in the title is asking a lot." I think he's being far too generous. I don't know any particularly good reason why a high school graduate would need to know half the five-dollar words on this list. Frankly, right now we have a problem getting high school graduates to form complete sentences, so who gives a damn whether they are lugubrious, when we should be concentrating on the battle just to get them to know "mournful." There IS such a thing as triage." Amen, and hell, I know enough college graduates in English who probably don't know half of the words on the list.
The news on Cordelia
Sounds like she got canned for lack of new plot.
On the intellectual study of Buffy
"More than a dozen books are due next year, including a 3,000-page lexicon of "Slayerspeak" by Michael Adams from Oxford University Press. Jana Riess, religion book review editor for Publishers Weekly, is writing a self-help book called "What Would Buffy Do? A Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide."
Australia's first symposium on "BtVS" is this summer; the fourth international conference in Nashville, Tenn., is slated for next year. English departments everywhere study Buffy.
"We're just tired of doing Faulkner," Lavery said." HEE!!!!!!
Those who haven't read up on their art history need not apply?
Hee! He's got a point there.
"Another ridiculous layer of pretense reached in the Matrix-verse is the use of code names by virtually every character, while in the Matrix or not. Neo, Morpheus, Niobe, Bane... Come on people, even the X-Men call Wolverine "Logan" sometimes. There's something about people running around referring to each other by what are basically screen names that really annoys me. Even in my brief real world flirtations with IM, message boards, and so forth I've been wary of the artifice of created identity. It just doesn't seem to bring out the best in some people. And in the Matrix, the characters bring that concept out of the computers and into their regular lives! It all feels a bit phony; I mean, if I were trying to hook up with a girl, but she insisted on being called "Trinity" all the time, I just don't think I could do it."
For the freelance writers in the crowd
I've been on this book newsletter for awhile now, and they've got some interesting tips.
And you thought YOU were bored and out of reading material in the bathroom.
Don't put your hands in the Crazy!
Y'all do realize that HERE is The Crazy, right? Watch your hands!
Move into Mr. Wong's!
The tallest virtual apartment building! This is just too cute.
"I Don't Care If America Thinks I'm A Child"
Great article about the nature of adulthood these days, following up on that whole you're-an-adult-at-26 thing.
"This is something adults always do -- they take back any half-formed maturity you might have had, at the slightest provocation, asking for respect while giving none in return. And they do it for good reason: It belies their insecurity that, in spite of a chronological head start and a steady, inevitable sagging, they haven’t gotten farther in life. At any point this side of death, it’s hard to believe you’re an adult -- you never get over the childhood insecurity of not knowing what it means to "act like one." You have to be told, be given signs, and no one seems to agree on what those signs are.
The law says that by the age of 18 I should be tried as an adult if I commit a crime of any kind. I can buy porn and tobacco. I can get married, drive, be sent off to war, and vote in elections -- basically, anything that might make me an active member of the human community, short of automobile rental.
So here’s why I’m confused: If I am to take this literally, I am right on target to graduate from college, before the deadline, (chosen by you, America) of 22 years and change. Doing good so far. Here’s what gets me: I am already supposed to be financially independent around now, working a full-time job so that I can support a family when I’m 24.5.
Let’s be honest. I’ve been in the red since day one, and with my ridiculously priced education training me for little more than titillating cocktail-party banter, gainful employment is a far-off dream. I can’t convince a woman to stick around for the night, much less for the time necessary to bring a pregnancy to term. Even 26 sounds way too early for me to have the well-being of any living thing under my care. I can’t handle houseplants.
College is this time that we are supposed to have, to be young and play grab-ass with the greater world of ideas and experience. But the problems with this are logical and well-documented. For many the experience lacks pith, with all of the sitting in dimly-lit library stacks, searching for rare treatises on epic verse. To other people, college has nothing to do with academics. Either way, it is the chance to extend our childhood -- that time in which we hold no responsibilities -- to its maximum. It’s the time when we can be self-absorbed children with the appetites -- physical, intellectual -- of an adult. For others, college is just a voucher one receives that shows an education was committed -- a proof beyond all empirical testing that the rite of passage, merely ritual, has been performed.
My dad told me once that his father had a test for adulthood. My grandfather told him that the day they went out to dinner and my dad picked up the check, he would consider him an adult. Equal. Money and success can do a lot to get you closer to adulthood. Showing that you’re worth something, to someone."
And speaking of adulthood, Knot Magazine has come out with a Quarterlife Crisis section. "We're not interested in the fall at 50. We're talking about the unraveling at 25, the growing pains, tune-ups, and the graceful ascent and outright denial of growing up." Actually, looking at the site in general, the whole place is really all about Quarterlife Crisis.
Why is it...
that some lying journalists have their careers totally ended when they're caught, while others don't? Good question.
"It's an interesting point in time to ask the question of whether there is any percentage in doing things honestly if one wants to get ahead. Let us stipulate that most excellent journalists, working diligently for decades could not yank a six-figure advance out of a book publisher for a first book (a memoir, no less) regardless of how excellent their book might be. Blair may be richly compensated for nothing more than being a spectacularly bad reporter for a very few years, and will have an opportunity to blame his downfall on an institution that gave him rather more trust and opportunity than he deserved."
It's blasphemy, dammit.
Okay, I doubt most people have even heard of Cheaper By The Dozen, which is the real-life tale of two efficiency experts in the 1910's or so that had a ton of children (technically 12, though one died and it's barely mentioned...in the sequel) and tried out a bunch of weird-yet-useful efficiency methods on them all the time. It's bizarre but interesting reading.
Well, they're apparently going to remake the movie of this, with Steve Martin and every hot TV "teen" they can find, apparently. But what's pissing me off is that, well, they don't sound like they're even remotely close to the source material here, it's just an excuse to make a movie with Steve Martin yelling funnily at a bunch of hot teens. With the whole "football coach" thing, it sounds more like they're remaking Just The Ten Of Us. Geeez.
For those who miss the pancake rabbit...sorta
Do these cats look happy to you? "Don't you think I'm sexy with a chicken on my head?"
What if Jesus was one of us...
What happens when Jesus plays D&D. Also features how to invite Jesus into your gaming group (1. Set an extra place at the gaming table. 2. Put out drinks and munchies. Don't expect Jesus to feed your multitudes."). And remember, Jesus doesn't play Malkavian! (Swiped from Stef.)
May 23, 2003
He's got a point there.
"If movie theaters were introduced today, I think they'd fail completely. Let's say that for whatever reason, there are no movie theaters. Instead, movies are either first shown on television, then released on DVD and VHS, or they go straight to DVD and VHS. No theatrical run, because there are no theaters.
Then some Hollywood power players have a great idea: instead of releasing movies on TV or directly to video, they're going to create these things called "movie theaters." They're going to show their movies in these movie theaters exclusively for maybe three months, then shortly thereafter they release them to video. Can you imagine the pitch?
"Instead of paying two bucks to rent a movie, or twenty or thirty bucks to own it forever, we're going to charge you ten bucks to see it once. That's ten bucks each. Family of four, forty bucks. Then we're going to stick you in a room with a hundred other people. The chairs aren't as big as the ones you have at home, but hey, we've got to fit a hundred people in there. Anyhow, the show starts at a designated time, so don't be late. And you can't stop it, so if you want another drink or to use the bathroom you're going to have to squeeze past the rest of the people in your row and miss part of the movie. Speaking of drinks, we're sure you'll agree that there's no way we're going to make a reasonable profit off a ten-buck ticket, so we're going to mark up the cost of snacks and drinks a little. Well, a lot. Maybe four times what you'd pay in a 7-Eleven. Which, we're sure you'll agree, is still not going to turn as much of a profit as one would hope, so we're going to show you a few advertisements first. Yes, we know that doesn't sound quite as nice as seeing the movie at home, but we do have something to offer that you can't get at home: a big screen. Huge. Whopping. You'll be sitting there and you won't even be thinking about the dorks behind you making body noises and quoting South Park, or the fact that you could have a 24-hour rented vid-fest for what you spent on snacks alone, or the fact that you need to hit the john but you don't want to miss a fight scene, because the screen is that damn big. Just, just very very large."
I'm shocked that my coposter didn't like this one.
Boobs, The Musical. There's a short bit of the finale song on the site. I am so sending this to April Winchell.
The nose knows
Michael Jackson's "Name That Nose!" Quiz.
I think I've found...
the next target for a Pamiesque library campaign.
Don't you want to go to school in England,
where you can do stuff like get a master's degree in PlayStation. You can also take Barbecue Studies, Surf Science and Technology, David Beckham (okay, that's going too far), Science Fiction, Folk Music, and Circus Skills.
They "gave" a parking ticket..
to a rabbit. Okay, not quite, but I am so trying to hold back snickers here in public anyway.
Thanks for sharing...
that you're practicing to have children already. Let's just see if this engagement lasts a month first before we go there.
Wine collectors...
tend to be big fat liars about their addiction. This is rather funny. "Since my son's birth in 2001, most of my purchases have revolved around his needs. To mark his 10th birthday, for instance, he'll need something better than a Bud Lght, so I recently preordered a bottle of 2001 Haut-Brion, the least expensive of the Bordeaux First Growths but also the best."
The world's most expensive...saltcellar?!
My mother collects saltcellars for some reason- usually, they're just little cups you used to put a pile of salt into on the table. This one, however, well... dang.
I rather like what the author of this piece said about the worth of art here. "But the same forces that make the Cellini so valuable at auction make it almost impossible to sell on the black market. A corrupt collector with, say, a stolen da Vinci drawing can probably hang it safely on his wall; only a specialist would know the provenance of the thing. But anyone who's taken an introductory art history class would recognize the Cellini at a yard sale. It's a hot potato: Show it, and you might as well be wearing a sign that says "Arrest me."
In truth, then, I misspoke when I said the piece was "worth" all that money since there's no possible market for it, no economic transaction in which it can function—except, perhaps, ransom or insurance. You can use the Cellini at your table, I suppose, in which case it's worth about as much as a pair of plastic salt and pepper shakers from Target: $3.98 or so. Beyond such practical terms, it's as worthless as it is priceless."
This is just the cutest!
Not Very Big Brother features plastic people living in a cardboard house. Hee!
Heh. This is funny and yet kinda bad at the same time.
"Doctors say a prolonged erection almost certainly saved the life of a Romanian hospital patient."
Hah! I love it.
I've been pretty much ignoring the whole Jayson Blair/Stephen Glass big fat liars hullabaloo thing- I try to read articles, I get bored, I could comment here but why bother? But Jessica came up with the perfect comment on it: "Of course, Jayson Blair won't really have made it until Pamie does a play about him."
Interview with Joss on what's going on
Joss gives the true scoop on the Spike dies-and-goes-to-Angel thing, why Anya died, and why Dawn was never Slayer material. Sorta-spoiler commentary below if you're paranoid...
"TGO: There's always Shanshu (the ancient prophecy introduced during Angel's first season that says once a soulful vampire fulfills his destiny, he becomes human).
Whedon: It's not quite that simple, although a lot of people have been making reference to that. But that's an interpretation, and ultimately could become the interpretation if we decide to go that way. I have some other ideas. The trick is how to bring him back without losing the integrity of what he did... the sacrifice. If it's just, "Hey, I'm back!" then that whole moment at the end of Buffy is kind of lame now. Like Buffy returning from the dead, it's going to be something that we're going to have to earn and play the ramifications of, possibly without making it so depressing.
TVGO: Now that Buffy is free to do whatever she likes, how will you explain why she doesn't make a beeline for Angel?" (Uh, hello, he's still cursed to never be able to get a booty call? Same old problem as before, even with cookie dough.)
"Whedon: Well, I think I did in the episode. She said very specifically she doesn't want to go and find a boyfriend. She wants to go and find herself — spend some time becoming a grown-up and finding out who she is, and then she can stop to find out who fits with that. That was the point of the whole cookie dough speech. Her internal search isn't for a boyfriend, it's for herself. And then if true love fits into that, that would be the best thing ever. But if she instantly went off and attached herself to Angel, she'd be throwing away everything she'd just been given, which is her freedom. It would be the last thing she would do. Well, not the last thing. She wouldn't do it until sweeps." (*snort* Yeah, right, she could come back, but since she doesn't want to be on TV any more, we know it ain't happening even if she comes back once.)
"TVGO: November sweeps?
Whedon: I don't know if necessarily it will be November, but she has stated time and again that she's perfectly willing to come on and make an appearance, assuming schedules work out. Nothing's definite, but it's as sure a shot as one could hope for.
TVGO: Why was Anya marked for death?
Whedon: I wanted to kill somebody, and I wanted to do it brutally and suddenly and never really pay it off. I wanted a death that was a real middle-of-the-battle death — the opposite of the Spike death, [which was] perfect, noble. And Emma had made it clear that she really was not interested in coming back. I think things with Fox weren't great and she felt ill-used — not by the show. She had a good time making the show, I think. But she was ready to move on. But it was tough [killing her off]. The last shot before we wrapped her was that shot where she gets sliced. And it's very weird to play your death and go, "Okay, I'm done." (I figured as much.)
"TVGO: No one seemed to be too broken up about it.
Whedon: I had a lot to wrap up, so I let Xander (Nicholas Brendon) have a moment of closure about her, just enough to get him to the point where he could rejoin the group for a moment of, well, "We won." You have to get yourself to a good place if you want the show to go out on an uplifting moment, which I did. So I used shorthand.
TVGO: Had you known that Eliza Dushku was going to pass on the spinoff, would you have killed off Faith?
Whedon: No, I doubt it. There's a certain element where the loss becomes unacceptable for a happy ending, and the idea that she's been the primary Slayer behind Buffy, it felt like she should be in that mix.
TVGO: Given Eliza's decision, do you regret not making Dawn (Michelle Trachtenberg) a Slayer?
Whedon: No, I don't think Dawn was meant to be a Slayer — both mythologically and emotionally. Dawn plays a different part than that. I don't think we necessarily got to explore all the aspects of Dawn's character that I would have liked to have, because she kind of got swept up in the larger story. But being a Slayer was never one of them. That's not to say you couldn't build a spinoff around Michelle — she's an interesting actress, and the same goes for a lot of the players. But I wouldn't just necessarily take someone and make them a Slayer. I don't think that would really fly."
Cliffhanger news
I don't watch most of these shows, but for those of you on the edge of your seats about 24, West Wing, Alias, NYPD Blue, Gilmore Girls, Friends, Charmed, etc., here's some spoilage for next season.
According to...
the Oracle of Starbucks, I am a pseudo-intellectual. This isn't too flattering. "You're liberal and consider yourself to be laid back and open minded. Everyone else just thinks you're clueless." (Okay, that part is certainly true, but I take offense at the rest.) "Your friends hate you because you always email them virus warnings and chain letters "just in case it's true." All people who drink Tall tazoberry are potheads." I had wondered what they'd say about someone who doesn't drink the coffee.
May 22, 2003
I didn't kill my wife!
Ah, the joys these days of being named (J) Scott Peterson, Charles Manson, and Bonnie and Clyde.
Another...
weird baby name. What is this? And oh, man, Marijuana Pepsi Jackson?! The middle name sounds like Mom wanted to use her to get endorsements, except the first one just completely ruins that idea!
The female human porcupine.
"A new anti-assault device for women wards off potential assailants with an 80,000-volt electric shock.
Dubbed "exo-electric armor," the No-Contact Jacket looks like an ordinary fashionable women's coat. But an inner layer of conductive fiber carries a low-amp charge that delivers a nasty but non-lethal shock to anyone who messes with its wearer.
"It's kind of like sticking your finger in a wall socket," said Adam Whiton, one of its designers. "It hurts. If someone tries to grab you from behind, they get the full, hefty shock out of it. That's really painful."
Unlike weapons and sprays, the jacket can't be grabbed from a woman and used against her. And it's not as lethal as a gun.
"We initially thought the idea was a little extreme," said Whiton. "But we got a lot of positive feedback. It defends, it protects and it gives confidence to women. By encasing the whole body in this electric fence, it forms a barrier that people just shouldn't enter into."
To prevent accidental discharges, the wearer must arm the jacket before it can deliver a shock. A lock on the sleeve must first be opened with a key, and then the charge is built up by holding down a button inside one of the sleeves.
The idea is to charge it only in threatening situations or when the wearer feels vulnerable, Whiton said. A woman might arm it when she's walking to her car at night, for instance.
The jacket is designed for women only. Its small size and narrow armholes are intended to prevent men from using it as an offensive weapon."
Coincidence? I think not.
Did that Taco Bell make Michael sick?
Spoilage...
from Sarah Michelle Gellar. Commentary below...
"Hopefully Angel will continue. Joss [Whedon] actually asked me if I would consider doing an Angel next year and of course I had every intention of doing something for the spin-off. I initially thought that was something that I could do, and it still may be something I am going to do. But it's just not going to be next season."
Hah! Good point!
"I don't think Neo's all that special. Yes, he kicks ass in the matrix, but why does that mean he's going to save Zion? That's like saying "Fred's going to stop the strife in the Middle East, because he's got a really good Everquest character." He had another amusing quote too, but it's a spoiler, so below.
"I did like the Merovingian. As far as I could tell, he's just realliy into horror movies. He employs werewolves and ghosts, he shows Bride of Dracula around the mansion, and the way to enter the secret passage is a good traditional triggered book. It's like watching Scooby Doo!"
Gophers?
"I was in the office when I heard the news: Town of Sunnydale Sucked Into Giant Sinkhole; Experts Blame Gophers.
I don't get it. Spike? With a soul? Are souls like the new fad nowadays? Are they giving them out as the toys in Happy Meals at McDonalds? My soul was a punishment. It was a big deal! I was the vampire with a soul. For 105 years! And now flash-forward to the present day and apparently any old bloke can snag himself a soul. I got mine for being the Scourge of Europe! I killed lots of people and I terrorized a tribe of Gypsies and I killed puppies!"
May 21, 2003
Yowch.
Man, think about how much this show is gonna suck next season.
I love chicagowench.
"I find myself bridling at the monkers people seem entirely too willing to put on me these days, and fighting to find ways to refute them. I am not 'Sean's Mom'. Sean does not- despite all evidence to the contrary in this journal- define every aspect of my life.
"In addition to telecommuting, I write maddening things about how I do not love every second of being a mother, enjoy drinking, had sex before marriage, and am a Jew. Please, hold throwing stones at me until the end."
And just as much as I bridle over having labels assigned to me, I have a mad hate on for people ascribing things to my child. When the inlaws were here, my MIL insisted on speaking 'for' Sean, giving voice to emotions, motivations, thoughts... lady, he can't focus more than 12 inches away, I assure you he's not opining in his inside his head voice on how much he loves going for car rides. I doubt he knows the word 'car', he has yet to have the 'water' moment from The Miracle Worker. Also, he doesn't know from bears yet, so your insistence on buying him every teddy bear themed item under the sun because 'he wuvs bwears'? Wrong."
Oh geez, and I thought baby dolls who peed were bad.
Visitors to the museum can whisper in her ear to make her cheeks turn pink. Of course, given who this is about, the first thing I wondered was, "which cheeks?"
On a non-Buffy note...
"Michael Jackson has burst into the office of his local Congressman wearing a Spiderman mask - to complain about the lack of fast-food restaurants near his Neverland ranch."
He asked the politician's deputy, Steve Lavagnino: "How come Solvang doesn't have any fast-food restaurants?"
After Jackson was told the town's only eaterie was a Subway sandwich shop, the disappointed singer said he loved food from the Taco Bell chain.
Solvang, about 140 miles north of Los Angeles, is a quaint village that bills itself as "the Danish capital of America". (Yup, with full-on Danish decor. Ergo, not a lot of call for fast food ruining the theme. You'd think even Michael could figure that one out.)
Buffy Radio!
Listening to this finale show is cracking my shit up, especially the "shiny disco ball" comments. Warning: I've had so much trying to get it to connect consistently this morning, but it seems to be working fine now.
American Wedding spoilers
Oh. My. Lord. Comments below...
Bwahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"this one has Jim and Michelle getting married and as with the 2 others, opens up to a very funny proposal by Jim to Michelle. The scene takes place at a posh restaurant where we come to find out Jim is about to pop the question. One uncomfortable thing leads to another and we find Michelle under the table servicing Jim when all of a sudden, yep, Jim’s dad walks up to the table to deliver the forgotten engagement ring. Funny conversation ensues and the scene ends with Jim proposing to Michelle in front of everybody in the place, pants down to his knees and hard-on busting out of his boxers.
“You don’t have to be kinky to keep the romance alive. She doesn’t have to be the dog and you the hydrant in the bedroom.”
But I do hope this is it. If it is, it’s a good way to go out. And in no better way than Stifler making out with Jim’s grandma on the dance floor…"
I am having SUCH a hard time not shrieking with laughter in public right now. And that dog and hydrant comment is SO Jim. Just priceless.
I liked this.
"This simply isn’t over. This story has no end, not when there is still evil and people brave enough in this world to fight it.
The Slayer tale does go on. It has too. Not everyone there could walk away. Not everyone there wants to.
Sunnydale is gone, and Buffy might ride off into the sunset, but this story must live on.
The question is how, and whether we’d be willing to accept it."
This is dedicated to Xander
Talk Like A Pirate. And heh, Dave Barry, TLAP's official spokesman/columnist, is bummed about Buffy too.
Goodbye to you
"There's like this great big hole where my Tuesdays used to be right now.
Try explaining to the UPS man you're crying because an ex-demon got sliced in half by an eyeless bodyguard to a primal evil." Awww, Stef.
Speaking of farewells, she mentioned this site, which may be of interest to folks after last night. "take a character. kill him/her. let him/her write one last letter. it can be to the world. it can be to a particular person. it can be to no one. s/he's died, and this is all that remains." I'm not normally into fan fiction because I have canon issues, but since the show's over I might have to take it up. I rather like this one: "And if you ever look at any woman the way you looked at me I'll make sure you're dipped in a vat of boiling wax and fed you to a pack of ravenous bunnies