"Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry, a Democratic candidate for president, said during an interview at The Post last week that he favors civil unions for gays but not marriage. "Marriage is an institution between men and women for the purpose of having children and procreating," he said, though he himself is in a second marriage, to a woman in a second marriage, that appears unconnected to such purpose.
A-HEM.
If this was the case, we'd be forbidding anyone who's infertile to wed.
if they're wearing their uniforms to a fast-food joint. They might uh, get a "special" meal. Oy.
Argh. So much for carless me getting out of town in a few months. FUCK.
The most disgusting revelation I've read perhaps ever. When you're so into coke that you'll snort it up with fleas OFF THE DOG.
Really funky new ways to treat depression.
they're working on film opportunities.
Harvard boots Blair Hornstine for plagiarism.
who knew a job placement center might actually send you to be a hooker?
Course, in America, this would equate to Fundraiser Time!
Why jackasses like Michael Savage will always be popular.
"The problem, ultimately, with figures like Savage isn't that they encourage listeners to hate one or another constituency. It's that they use myths, exaggerations, unrepresentative anecdotes, and tortured logic to stake out extreme political and cultural positions; encourage listeners to identify, as a "community" of their own, with this fantasy club; and then encourage the audience to hate anyone who's not a member of the club.
This is how a figure like Limbaugh or Hannity, at the very center of power of a political party that now controls the White House, both houses of Congress, and a majority of governorships and state legislatures, can still posture either as an outsider or a triumphant bully as needed. Savage, by pushing the envelope, encourages the outsider tendencies even though he himself is wealthy, powerful, and an industry unto himself.
This media phenomenon has been essential in allowing the Bush Administration to set new standards in telling bald-faced lies, confident of its ability to have them endlessly repeated and their critics insulted into silence or insignificance. It also ensures that any genuine public policy debate on any topic can be drowned out in the familiar language of screamed insults followed immediately by a commercial break.
Michael Savage has a loyal audience that is his as long as he wants it, or until he becomes eclipsed by the next hate radio phenom who pushes the envelope still farther. The format itself isn't going away until the audience gets bored or dies off – neither of which is likely."
So once upon a time, a 16-year-old girl figures out a different way to solve the quadratic equation. Now her teacher is wondering if this is a totally original way to solve it or not, and if so, can it get published.
Some thoughts on this:
(a) I was a math MORON. I cried over math from first grade on. And yet, the only three things I could do in high school math were geometry, chemistry math, and...the quadratic equation. It can't be THAT hard if I did it.
(b) I've never heard of this "split" and "guess and check" stuff. We always just plugged into the formula.
(c) If her method is just a variant of the other stuff, it can't be original. Still cool she's a good thinker, but...
(d) There's many comments on Metafilter about how the reporter couldn't do math. I used to be a reporter. If any of us reporters could do math, we wouldn't be doing a writing job to make a living :P
Schick evidently didn't listen to Jewel's "Intuition" before co-opting it for their ads. Oh lord, this is ridiculous. Course, she's gone along with it, so....
One MILLION copies! Time for some shoe-eatin!
My results:
1. Gephardt, Cong. Dick, MO - Democrat (82%)
2. Kucinich, Cong. Dennis, OH - Democrat (78%)
3. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (74%)
4. Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat (70%)
5. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (68%)
6. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (68%)
7. Moseley-Braun, Former Senator Carol IL - Democrat (66%)
8. Graham, Senator Bob, FL - Democrat (65%)
9. Lieberman Senator Joe CT - Democrat (57%)
10. Bush, George W. - US President (12%)
Not a surprise there at the end, eh?
You can now get wireless net access at certain McDonald's in the Bay Area. For $4.95 for two hours. Honestly, I've never wanted to spend two hours in a McDonald's, but whatever. Starbucks will be next, right?
Obese people are eating their way to fat enough so they can get gastric bypass surgery.
"My theory is that Bob Hope is some kind of life-force vampire and is determined to make it to 150."
Frankly, I'd rather have the rest of the dead celebs back if this is the case- well, he sure does manage to beat the death pool every year, so you gotta wonder... :P I don't know why someone who has never remotely struck me as funny has had such a legendary career. He seems like a nice person, mind you, but I don't know why he is such a big shot.
1. Did anyone NOT know this by now?
2. I love hypocrisy.
3. Why would you want the entire world to know that you've only slept with one person and who it is?
Elvis not allowed to drive cab any more, but no rules about the cape...
elephants should wear condoms. Since when did anyone make condoms for ELEPHANTS?!
Cher embarks on indefinite farewell tour. "It is presumed, however, that her future will involve some combination of acting and plastic surgery."
Live and Let Pussy Die? Gah. They couldn't come up with anything better than that? Seriously?
One-legged kid takes up tap dancing and wins an award for it.
then takes her back when she wins the lottery. Hi, skeezebucket! Meanwhile, our new moneyed girl's previous boyfriend is kicking himself for dumping her two months ago.
Man, this poor girl is just gonna be a walking example of Why Winning The Lottery Can Suck, isn't she? And she's 16! Yikes!
Yeah, right. "It never ceases to amaze me that people are so cynical they want to tie money to issues, money to bills, money to amendments."
The congressman's remark either betrays the height of cynicism or reveals a pathological failure to comprehend what's going on. Given DeLay's history of wily maneuver and relentless, sometimes secretive fund-raising, the odds favor the former."
The dude who got fired for putting Caddyshack into an article is shocked about it. Why?! Hello, didn't you hear about all that plagiarism/NYT crap just a few months ago? Since when did throwing in an interview with a movie character become journalism? Has the dude been smoking the grass?
Much to my shock, I am now a beta tester for TypePad. My test weblog for it is here and is also now listed on the sidebar. I can't comment on other stuff as yet, but you can see for yourself, eh?
"I guess everybody did that with Barbies." My mom: very straight and narrow, but even in the 60's, Barbie was a dirty whore."
Someone slipped a scene from Caddyshack into a golf article. Right, like nobody'd notice that one. Oops, his editors didn't.
The scoop on how it works to date in Hollywood.
"It is so difficult to keep a straight face when your butt is burning."
Drinking, smoking, drugging girls may be prone to it because of genetic reasons. Ack. Boy, is that ever not good.
"For girls, genes that predispose people to “conduct problems” —which range from defiance and rebelliousness to more serious behaviours like arson and cruelty to animals — seem to work in tandem with genes that influence a willingness to drink and take drugs, the study contends."
Some people may have a harder time quitting smoking than others due to genetics.
This explains a lot.
"You have to keep in mind that America was founded by Puritans, but we were also founded by nonconformists and rebels and dissidents from all throughout Europe – the people who didn't fit in came here. So you've got this Puritan tradition, and you've got this rebellious tradition. You've got a lot of Founding Fathers who were rebellious in their personal lives and their political views. It was amazingly rebellious to oppose kings. And those two parts of America are just constantly at odds with one another. And they're often at odds within one person. Thank you, Bill Bennett."
Gene Weingarten doesn't seem to know what to think about telemarketer calls.
"After this story appeared, I got some mail from telemarketers respectfully pointing out what an ass I am, and arguing that, hey, they have mouths to feed, etc. I responded respectfully that they could always feed their young with mashed-up portions of their own bodies until there was nothing left, solving two problems at once.
My point is, I LIKE my spirited interchanges with telemarketers. However, I felt I HAD to submit my phone number to the Do Not Call list because every human American person with a phone is going to submit his phone number to the Do Not Call list, meaning that if I did NOT submit my number to the Do Not Call List, I would be the only person in the United States on the It's Okay To Call List, and that would get ugly, if you see my point. This is an insidious form of peer pressure, and I resent it."
"An exasperated resident turned the tables on a company that hounded him with telemarketing calls, calling it more than 100 times in two days.
Marc Plaisted said he started calling Minnesota Auto Glass after the St. Peter-based company's telemarketers called him up to three times a day — even after he asked them not to.
Plaisted had figured the calls would stop when he signed on to Minnesota's "do-not-call" list months ago.
"I'm following the law and asking them to be taken off the list and they ignore me and then, on top of it, start swearing at me," he said. "That was where they flipped the switch with me and I said, 'Enough is enough. I'm going after you guys now."
Plaisted started calling the Minnesota Auto Glass's Duluth office last Thursday, and placed more than 100 calls, he said.
"I just called them every five minutes and let them know that, no, I don't have a crack in my windshield, because this seems to be something they are very concerned about," Plaisted said.
A Minnesota Auto Glass manager in Duluth said Plaisted's number had been removed from its list and that proof of the removal would be put in writing."
They're working on a way to turn the volume down on commercials.
Researchers find genes for depression.
Never was that line more appropriate. (6/28/03 comic)
"The average person under the age of 35 falls in love when they are 9-and-a-half years old.
By comparison, boomers between the ages of 35 and 44 say they didn't have their first crush until they were 10-and-a-half and oldsters over 55 waited until they were 11 before falling in love."
This doesn't surprise me either.
for 10 years. From what I've heard, most people get canned in a few months, tops.
assuming everyone gets over their Amy Tan issues.
Looka got this in e-mail and it's FUNNY (scroll down to the bottom): an article about how Canada ruined heterosexual marriage.
"Our Pastor said this would happen if homosexuals started marrying legally," sniffled Kathy, "and he was right. When I woke up this morning, my wedding ring had vanished!"
"Mine too," said a teary-eyed John. "Not only that, but when I looked for our wedding license in my file drawer, all I found was a pile of ashes. All the pictures in our wedding album are charred and blackened. And now I have this insatiable urge to go to a gay bar and pick up a man!"
The best response I've seen to this "virgins in Vegas" thing.
"Virginity, you see, makes you more valuable. This, I assume, is why "the virgin brigade passed out about 5,000 "Good Girl Cards" to mostly female passerbys (sic)." Now, I agree that virgins could use a little positive word-of-mouth: when I was in high school, "virgin" was a dirty word, even for the girls, who had to walk the shifting and treacherous line between prude and slut. But this is rather loaded terminology. If avowed virgins are "Good Girls," then what exactly are the rest of us? Well, that's really not too tough to figure out. Is it always essential to boost your own identity by slamming another? Couldn't we have, oh, "Being a Virgin Works For Me!" cards instead?
What I find curious about the view of Virginity As Free Pass is that it doesn't seem far removed from the trap that these groups claim awaits teenage girls who do give it up. The argument is that girls often have sex in order to hang onto guys, who think nothing of manipulating them into doing things they're not ready for (no word on the damaging effect of premarital sex on the boys, by the way – in time-honored tradition, virginity is primarily the responsibility and potential downfall of the girls). So, apparently, virginity is also a commodity for these lost souls – but it's one that they're willing to trade for the lesser prize of momentary attention from a heartless male, instead of the "sure thing" of marriage (divorce is a topic rarely discussed at the Abstinence Clearinghouse, unless it's to note how much more often it occurs among people who practice premarital sex).
But if there is a problem with teens and sex, it seems to me that encouraging them to think of sex as a form of currency, and of their virginity as property that needs to be protected from marauding trespassers; to imply to young girls that the only way for them to be "good" is to be untouched; to enforce the idea that once you cross that line you're damaged goods, is the wrong way to go about it. Whether you come out on the save-it or spend-it side, isn't this an unhealthy attitude?"
No setting off fireworks for a few days before, and no golfing without cleaning up first. Damn.
Maternity store fires women for being pregnant. Yeesh.
HOW?! What are they, blind?
Submitted by an also-disgusted matt: "Opponents of the move to recall Gov. Gray Davis are asking their supporters to intimidate signature gatherers and complain of harassment at stores where recall petitions are circulating, stepping up the political battle taking place in front of Wal-Marts and Home Depots across California.
In an e-mail message and Internet posting titled "How to Advocate Against the Recall," Davis supporters were told, "It is OK to stand in front of their table or approach potential signers before they do, or otherwise inhibit their activity." The memo instructs people to say they are "offended by being harassed" and file complaints with managers of stores."
I am in no way in favor of the recall (why waste taxpayer money to put someone else in who's not going to do any better? The state is already so fucked that nobody can fix it), but this is disgusting behavior.
Nancy had a good piece on the situation (note: I don't think this is a permalink, look for June 25, 2003).
"A friend tells a story about a publishing company, once small, bought out by a larger one, not small, i.e., corporate. The new boss calls a meeting. Opens with a question. "Why do we work?" he asked.
Of course no one answers. Hard-core business folks, like my sister, are used to this sort of Chinese water torture at meetings -- such an opening could mean anything from a company-wide purge to a new, sadistic, morale-booster like "Fish!" (Note: check that link, it is fucking FRIGHTENING.) "Media people, believing they are special because their job is mentioned in the actual Constitution, are more childlike. Still, they know enough to realize this is a rhetorical question, and venturing a guess will get you flattened.
The answer? "To make money for the shareholders."
Now. You can say we are naive, and we are. Of course every company exists to make some money; if it didn't, it'd be the (insert name of favorite dead newspaper here). But at some point, I think the people who put out the actual items the company publishes are justified in saying, "You worry about that stuff, Mr. Boss. Just let me handle the damn editorial product, and everything else will take care of itself. If it doesn't, give me my severance and we'll part as friends. But do not involve me in your petty worry over our profit margin, or I will seize up like an engine that lacks oil. I will be unable to do my job. I will become the worst sort of employee."
But this is the mantra today: Make money for the shareholders. Employees are told about shrinking ad revenues and all the other bad news, to justify the cuts they're asked to absorb. Some day publishers will understand how wrong this is, how they should have just kept us in the dark."
Since when did female soldiers ever look feminine? Should she be wearing a camo miniskirt?
the Laci Peterson tribute songs. Gael found this girl and said, "I can't really say anything about these Laci Peterson tribute songs that Emily didn't say better here." Can't argue that.
"So, is Laci the one crying the flowering tears? Why is Conner refusing to use verbs? Is he two? If they're in heaven, why did he age two years?
These lyrics are the worst of the three. I mean, come on. "Gone straight to heaven, where princess angels live on?" Who writes that? I mean, there's deference, there's victimization, there's idol worship and then there's this.
You may think my righteous indignation is misplaced. You may be right. But you're probably not. These songs are horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE. People die all the time. Women are stalked and slaughtered by their loved ones daily. Why are people writing maudlin, overwrought songs for a woman they didn't even know? That these songs were even written, let alone published on-line on a "credible" newspaper's website, is both depressing and disquieting."
Amen.
Check out the fun. And frankly, one person says what I've been thinking about this guy since he arrived on the scene: "Lock this guy and Dan Savage in a room together, see who survives." Dan, sweeties, always Dan. Didn't you know that Michael and Dan were married in Europe? Michael was the bitch and took Dan's name...
I feel evil.
This'll show them EVERYTHING. Yes, EVERYTHING. "Electronic fig leaf?"
She teaches cartoonists how to draw her current husband.
"Heinz instructed the 150 cartoonists from around the country on how not to draw Kerry in the coming months, using an overhead projector to display cartoons she already disliked: "My husband should not be confused with Punxsutawney Phil. He isn't a basset hound. Please resist the impulse to use Heinz products when drawing my husband & " Concentrate, she said, only on "his noble chin, focused gaze and & smile. In other words, draw him like this."
Up on screen flashed a cartoon of John F. Kennedy."
Not only is this insane, but one suspects that "substantial" would be defined rather uh, arbitrarily. Like, say, 25 songs = enough to prosecute, "because you can't have that many songs on a real CD!" Some kind of insane logic that would allow them to attack well, everyone, you know?
This will make you cry. I don't even know why I'm linking it, really.
More on Tucker Carlson's eating habits:
* He refuses to eat his own shoes. Others shall be procured. I suspect he shall cheat and ahem, get a size smaller than his 12 1/2 boats.
* A restaurant has offered to cook said shoes in a sauce.
* He's already had to eat dead frog in brine when he lost a bet in high school. You'd think he'd have learned from this experience, but nope.
Chicago Bears decline to sell name of stadium like everyone else, sell off team name instead. Sorta.
being threatened with antlers.
getting married in jail when you don't have to.
This confirms what I've always known, I guess. And to think that people always ask me why I'm so negative all the time.
"Why do insults once hurled at us stick inside our skull, sometimes for decades? Why do some people have to work extra hard to ward off depression?
The answer is, for the same reason political smear campaigns outpull positive ones. Nastiness just makes a bigger impact on our brains.
And that is due to the brain's "negativity bias": Your brain is simply built with a greater sensitivity to unpleasant news. The bias is so automatic that it can be detected at the earliest stage of the brain's information processing.
The brain, Cacioppo demonstrated, reacts more strongly to stimuli it deems negative. There is a greater surge in electrical activity. Thus, our attitudes are more heavily influenced by downbeat news than good news.
Our capacity to weigh negative input so heavily most likely evolved for a good reason--to keep us out of harm's way. From the dawn of human history, our very survival depended on our skill at dodging danger. The brain developed systems that would make it unavoidable for us not to notice danger and thus, hopefully, respond to it.
All well and good. Having the built-in brain apparatus supersensitive to negativity means that the same bad-news bias also is at work in every sphere of our lives at all times.
Occasional big positive experiences--say, a birthday bash--are nice. But they don't make the necessary impact on our brain to override the tilt to negativity. It takes frequent small positive experiences to tip the scales toward happiness."
Once upon a time, Tucker "Another Commentator With A Dorky Bowtie" Carlson claimed he'd eat his shoes and tie if Hillary's book sold a million copies. Guess what he's gonna have to do.
"I'm going to contest the results and demand recounts, but ultimately I'm going to give in and do the right thing." Carlson says he plans to consult fetish Web sites in search of edible footwear, but draws the line at munching his tie: "There's only so much humiliation one man can take."
I love that we're getting an admission that a public figure is gonna look at fetish sites...but man, he SHOULD have to eat his tie on the air. Because he said so, dammit. It can be a fetish tie...or a bolo tie...but dammit, he should have to eat a tie!
Reason #451292: it's too much of a PITA to get out of your seat at the ballgame and wait in line at a concession stand. So you can now call in an order via your cell.
This reminds me of the other day when we were having a enormous luncheon at work, and I actually suggested to someone that what we really needed was some kind of double-decker paper plate invention that allowed us to load up one plate and then somehow stack another on top of it so we could load up another without having to leave the line to put one down. Good lord, what was I thinking?
There will be no marketing of Paxil for teens because if you're under 18, it may cause you to er, get suicidal instead of the opposite. Yeeeeesh.
This blonde Ph.D student is studying the mythos of blondeness in our culture. I'd be interested in reading it, even though I was a natural blonde a loooong time ago.
Microsoft also did a little advertising-via-the-homeless.
The Kansas state attorney general thinks that any girl under 16 that has sex is being abused. Period. Even more pleasant than that, he's forcing all doctors under threat of fines, jail time, etc., that offer treatment to pregnant girls under 16 to report them to authorities. I find it kinda suspicious that this was at first ONLY limited to abortion providing doctors.
As greta put it in post #2 here, "So if a teenaged girl gets pregnant, she can't see a doctor without fear of being reported to the proper authorities, and possibly seeing the father of her child prosecuted for child abuse. Sounds like Kansas is getting set for a new wave of infants being left in dumpsters and girls giving birth at prom."
I can't argue that. And it scares me.
this woman an award. I am impressed.
Did you have to say this at a kindergarten graduation?!?
"He asked the kids to stand up, and he told us to take a good look at these kids because a third of them will not graduate from high school or make it to high school because they will be too busy drugging, drinking or getting pregnant." Nobody wants to think about their kindergartners smoking crack and knocking each other up, and they really don't want that mentioned IN FRONT OF SAID KINDERGARTNERS. Yeesh.
Shouldn't have said that, Kelly, because now Kathie Lee'll wanna go medieval on your ass.
I somehow doubt hunky Prince William is going to be allowed to marry an American. Don't get your hopes up, girls.
Have sex on the palace steps or parliament lawn! We don't care! We encourage it!
They're trying to teach them how. Gah. I wonder if they'll take that up here next...
isn't this defeating the purpose of what you were trying to do?
My horoscope: "It's like you've tumbled down the rabbit hole, Taurus, only you haven't gone anywhere. It's a sedentary type of upside-down confusion you contend with this week, slow moving. Some things need to be lovingly built up; other shit is begging for the wrecking ball."
Arrrrgggghhhh.
"Yes, there are lots of reasons to dislike Davis. Even though much of the current mess we are now in was not completely his fault, he has never shown the leadership qualities necessary for getting us back on track. So it's obvious why, after Davis barely beat out shady businessman Bill Simon last November, someone decided to float a recall petition.
But the reasons behind the current recall drive have nothing to do with Davis' mismanagement of California and everything to do with dirty politics. In fact, the "Dump Davis" effort was basically in the toilet until millionaire Republican Congressman Darrell Issa sank about $800,000 into it. Then, last week, Issa announced his intention to take Davis' place.
The whole thing not only smacks of sore losers--the Republicans couldn't find a candidate good enough to beat Davis last year so they found someone with enough money to buy the governorship out from under him--but has also thrown the already fractious Legislature into complete chaos and stands to cost taxpayers $30 million for a special election. It's hard to imagine how that helps the average Californian.
The citizens of this state have every right to petition for Davis' recall, but they shouldn't be rooked into participating in a right-wing coup attempt on the emotional assumption that "anybody would be better." The sad fact is that we could end up with worse."
Especially since the choices are gonna be Davis or another loaded Republican, period, to force you to keep Davis if you don't want that to happen. Great, blackmail.
In other words, being a frigging teenager.
An anonymous Muhammad pays off the library fees of everyone named Muhammad, via Ramen noodles.
Uh, why am I now hungry?
FARK summed this up perfectly: "Angelina Jolie and Nicolas Cage, having gone through all the other wackos, have begun dating each other.
The writer had a LOT of fun with this piece. "BE afraid, be very afraid. Two of Hollywood’s weirdest, ANGELINA JOLIE and NICOLAS CAGE, are dating.
Not since MICHAEL JACKSON and LISA MARIE PRESLEY signed their prenups has there been such an accident waiting to happen.
Forget normal dating rituals. Angelina and Nic — who first met three years ago on action movie Gone In 60 Seconds — are more likely to exchange blood than phone numbers.
But just like the hit film on which they first met, I reckon this relationship will be Gone In 60 Seconds."
He seems to be shocked that: (a) students ask stupid questions of celebrities, and (b) no, they wouldn't want to go out with him for a drink, they want Ross.
Honestly, I've gotten so very sick of Ross that I can't watch the show any more, and am delighted to hear that once the show's over, that's it for him.
"Pizza Schmizza paid me to hold this sign instead of asking for money."
It's a truce for the Hatfields and the McCoys!
Oh, come on, like you never had the urge to do this.
James Spader go for?
(Prostitution, acting, what's the difference, really?...)
You really don't want to attempt this.
if you're an identical twin, anyway. At least, a life extender.
The more babies you have, the shorter you live. Kind of an "eeek," but then again, I've known a few folks who had a lot of kids and were still around. I suspect this is one of those "back when the health care sucked" kinds of things.
Now, he's just going to go by "Dave." Yeah, that's specific. As listersgirl pointed out, "I'm sorry, when your name is Dave, you don't get to claim exclusivity."
Anyone who signed up for that CD ripoff lawsuit awhile back shall be getting $13.
Big surprise, given how our day's gone.
"I just tend to get really nasty e-mails. And I just send them back a little e-mail saying, "Thank you for your kind e-mail regarding my" – and I skip a space, and I put a forward arrow – "three-inch penis." Then I skip a space. "As you can imagine, I receive so many positive responses to my" – skip a space, arrow – "three-inch penis, that I'm unable to respond to them all." Then they get mad, yeah."
is KFC. He's also quite fond of dressing up like a cop. One shudders to think what this might mean.
"A Dutch doctor who made a mistake with a women's contraception has been ordered to pay for her baby's education.
A judge ruled that the doctor, from Ede, should pick up the bill as it was his fault she had her unplanned baby, reports Algemeen Dagblad.
The doctor had made a mistake while fitting the woman with a contraceptive implant in her upper arm.
The woman's solicitor, Maurits De Witte told the court that the doctor didn't ensure the implant was injected in the correct place or ask her to come back two weeks later for a check-up."
On the other hand, I think the other show she praised will be eager to snap her up.
I was going to post a link to something about this, but Ghost in the Machine said it best, pointing out that a Segway is supposed to be very stable and intuitive. "So, of course, Dubya manages to flip one almost immediately."
Man, and I thought I was bad with anything with wheels. I guess we should all be glad Dubya no longer has to drive himself around in public... except oh, wait, he flies planes *sigh*
burns down his own house, brings cookies to eat and hand out while watching the fun.
Once upon a time, a bunch of fourth graders wanted to see what a million of something looked like. They went with pennies, and managed to raise $13,000 for an aquarium. Now the kids are graduating from high school, there's no aquarium built or going to be built in their neighborhood, and the teacher wants the money back. Officials snort, "yeah, right, that's gonna happen when octopi grow wings and fly."
than nitpick about cartoon breasts getting smaller.
The girl who sued to be valedictorian is skipping graduation and has fled town. Course, I guess all the booing and things being thrown at her should she show up would probably uh, have ruined the moment, I'm guessing.
And I thought a waxen Brad Pitt's squeezeable ass was bad for er, "realism."
"Britney Spears is to get a pair of pump-up breasts that will throb in time with her breathing.
A group of lucky experts are fixing the attachments to the singer to make her pole-dancing poses more raunchy.
The pump-up breasts are being fixed to the star's waxwork model at Madame Tussauds in London.
Bosses want to make the £52,000 model more realistic.
So they are hoisting it up and around a dancing pole.
Her breasts will then hang provocatively out of a skimpy top, inflating rhythmically to make it look like the singer is breathing heavily."
*squick*
I don't even know why this grosses me out so much, other than the titilation factor and the "uh, you WANT to make a wax dummy in a museum full of other wax dummies look ALIVE?" factor.
rebates.
"Stores are erecting ever-more-elaborate obstacles to screw consumers out of their discounts.
Many rebates, such as my Verizon one, lure people in with the claim that the rebate offer will last a leisurely several months. Only if they read the fine print do consumers realize that they have only days after the transaction to send the forms in. (For another recent rebate, the store delayed sending me the right forms for so long that I only had one day to get them postmarked in time.) Some rebates require you to cash the check almost the minute you get it.
Other stores offering rebates don't manage to send the check at all, perhaps relying on the forgetfulness of the customer. If you do remember that the check hasn't come, and you contact the store, it will often respond that it has no record of your rebate application. You're thinking, "Here comes that tip to be cautious and keep copies." Well, no, because often the rebater specifies it won't accept copies. (The super-aware who return their rebate forms by certified letter or Fed Ex are often out of luck, because many companies won't accept those deliveries.)
Many rebates demand multiple kinds of documentation (forms, receipts, UPCs) or require you to complete elaborate forms for each component (printer, monitor, desktop). Sometimes you have to circle a date or price to get your cash back. Many rebaters refuse to give the discount to more than one person in the same household. Some insist on access to your credit record before they'll give you the discount."
Hmmm. Rebate-wise, I have so far managed to get everything I've been owed a rebate for, even if one check took nine months to receive and another told me to print out a form, then sent me back a letter saying I couldn't get the rebate unless I sent them back the same form (which hadn't shown up with certain info the first time I printed it out online) by X date... and X date was of course, the day after I received this letter.
In general though, I don't really count on getting the money back, just in case.
"I'm calling it "The Bill Clinton's Penis Law," or "Bill's Law" for short. In sum, this law is defined as follows:
Nothing the media reports about the current administration, or anyone in politics, for that matter, can EVER compare to the evil of Bill Clinton and what he did with his penis while he held elected office.
The first corollary to this law is: No Republican President could ever commit a crime so as to warrant impeachment proceedings that would be half as atrocious as what Bill Clinton and his penis did while he was president.
The second corollary to this law is: Everything that has gone wrong since President Bush has been in office can be traced back to Clinton's penis."
"Women are days away from losing their right to end pregnancies--not just pregnancies in their seventh, eighth and ninth months, as many believe--but pregnancies from 13 weeks onward.
Anti-choice proponents for the ban describe a precise, limited and late-term prohibition. In fact, third trimester abortions are already illegal across the United States unless the health or life of the mother is at risk. What this ban really does is outlaw safe procedures that doctors commonly use in the second trimester, well before fetal viability. When it is enacted, the new federal law will endanger women's health and could send doctors to prison for up to two years for providing safe abortions.
The critical danger of this bill is that it contains no medical definition of what it is outlawing. Doctors and women who want to know what is and will be legal will be hard pressed to find an answer in the actual legislation. The ban is written so that it could apply to any number of procedures in the second or third term of pregnancy. In fact, the ban contains no "real-life" medical terms (such as "dilation and evacuation," "dilation and extraction," or "induction") from medical dictionaries. Instead, the ban uses misleading terminology such as "partial-birth abortion" which refers to no existing medical procedure.
Because of this, once the ban becomes law, physicians will not know what abortion procedures are illegal since there are no medically accurate terms included in the bill. Its vagueness threatens to make it a catchall ban on any abortion a doctor could reasonably believe might be illegal.
In addition, this abortion ban contains absolutely no exception for a woman's health.
When the ban becomes law, a woman who may suffer stroke or renal failure or diabetes if she continues her pregnancy--any scenario short of death--will have no options. If the safest abortion method to protect her becomes illegal by this ban, she will have been barred--by President Bush and Congress--from getting health-saving care."
Okay, it's one thing to Photoshop a celebrity's head and body for porn pics and to slap it on the Internet, but for a ladies' magazine to do the same thing? Yeesh. Have they no standards of anything? Especially lovely that they called it "The Real Julia." Because, you know, Julia Roberts has become such a COW in the last four years that she moos.
couldn't survive on a Wal-Mart paycheck.
"Living wage" campaigns across the country have attempted to determine and advocate for a wage level that can provide a decent life for working families. Living wages are designed to sustain a family over time. Our goal was much more modest. All we asked of our Wal-Mart wage was to get our cashier's family to the end of the month in a central Kansas city of 50,000, assuming they were already settled in a rented apartment or mobile home and had a paid-for car, furniture and appliances. The Wal-Mart wage failed – even at Wal-Mart prices, even with the 10 percent employee discount, and even with employer-assisted health insurance."
Minus the icky side effects! This weirds me out.
Sounds like the Scooby Doo treatment. I'm surprised they're doing this now, as I used to like Garfield but it's gotten very old in the last years. Much to my shock, Breckin Meyer will play Jon and (oy) Jennifer Love Hewitt plays the vet.
One hell of a great Photoshop contest. Actually, this kinda reminds me of my old interior design homework assignments in high school.
There's some online discussion group that helps people commit suicide. (Fortunately, it's not named here.) The article gave me the chills.
Billy Bob burns Angelina's blood in the "marital coffin."
I'm sorry to see them go, actually. Short of Michael Jackson getting married again *shudder* *yeah right*, they were the most fun couple to make fun of.
I hope the Texas Democrats start fleeing fast.
screeching pink G-string in front of a hot girl photographer.
"An American doctor has claimed that cheese can be as addictive as morphine.
Dr Neal Barnard, president of the Physicians Committee on Responsible Medicine, says cheese is addictive because it contains small amounts of morphine from cows' liver."
Bill O'Reilly wants to shoot Al Franken in the head.
And this is the kind of guy that's considered charismatic and likeable while angry (or at least, he's presumed to be this enough so that he gets on the air?), while the deep-voiced Molly Ivins is called shrill. *sigh*
Otherwise known as, you really didn't want to know what happened to your pet goldfish when you were five.
has fun speaking at Harvard's graduation.
Slate is listing "campaign songs" in candidate profiles.
Here's a collection of the most famous dumb politician lines.
Wanna drive in the fast lane? You gotta pay a toll just for that.
Kim and Eminem forever? "White trash rapper Eminem and ex-wife Kim have once again split up after only recently patching up their differences and moving back in together. Em has moved out of the $1 million Detroit mansion the family shared after a series of rows with Kim over his decision to use daughter Hailie on one of his songs.
This will be the umpteenth time the childhood sweethearts have split up since marrying in 1999. During their times apart, Eminem has talked about killing Kim and dumping her body in the sea, and in 2000 threatened one of her dates with a gun. With that kind of history, surely love can find a way for them to work things out this time too?"
Oh LORD. That last line. Man, can't they just stay broken up and STOP IT ALREADY?
For those of you who might want to debate whether or not donating books sets a precedent for the government in that they will cut money and hope that the private sector will bail them out, here's where to go. Honestly, I'm not sure what to say on this ("uh, I think we should worry about this, but what are we going to do, not donate?"), but maybe someone else has good opinions.
and it is the freeter. Given how the economy is sucking and we can't get jobs or afford to do much, anyway. This makes it sound like it's more voluntary in Japan.
This is not exactly sounding like something that would be popular viewing.
Again, I feel sick. "It provides further evidence that being a woman is bad for business in the sweaty, angry, conservative world of talk radio.
Asked to name a top woman talk-show host, Harrison hesitates and then hesitates some more. ''That's a great question,'' is all he can muster.
Industry analysts and executives offer many reasons for the scarcity of females in the world of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Don Imus. There isn't enough of a talent pool. Men sound more authoritative on the big issues. Fewer women propound the rock-ribbed conservatism that dominates the medium. And unlike men, women on the air must be both compelling and likable, a tricky tightrope act. (If a female host bellowed like Michael Savage, she would most likely be burned at the stake in Salem.)
''The arrogance and incredible ego that we'll put up with in men, it bothers us with a woman. There are too many things to find wrong or annoying,'' says Eagan, who is also a Boston Herald columnist. ''You don't want her to be a word that rhymes with witch.''
''It's more difficult for the female personality to capture an audience because what you need is anger, commentary, and charisma,'' Harrison says. ''Females, when they get angry, seem not to have the kind of charisma [of] an angry man.'' Adds Jeghelian, who was the sort of kinder, gentler conservative no longer in demand: ''The tenor of it has changed tremendously. It would be difficult for me as a woman to fit into the hostile talk that's going on.''
So, angry women aren't likeable (and why is someone who's pissed off supposed to be "likeable?"), have no charisma, aren't allowed to have arrogance and ego (unless they're Martha Stewart?), and come off as bitches. Real nice.
And people wonder why I'm not thrilled to be a woman.
(Note: not a permalink.) Gallo makes a movie, Ebert says it sucks, Gallo curses Ebert's colon, Ebert says watching his colonoscopy was more fun than this movie. Hee!
This article features a very amusing headline, "Supertallyletteristic Hickenloop-atrocious". Apparently the new mayor's last name of Hickenlooper bugs the newspaper enough so that they'd like him to go by "Hick" or something. Hey, we had a mayor that went by Steve!
Note to self: don't run for mayor in Colorado. Or, for that matter, Chicago.
For the last few years, everywhere I go I keep hearing people saying stuff along the lines of "Teachers are totally in demand these days!" Uh, yeah,
A magazine article on plagiarism features a stolen article someone else did on plagiarism.
An Australian state used to publish pamphlets giving prostitutes tips.
Strenuous housework helps prevent ovarian cancer. Which really could just translate into "get some exercise," here, but nooooo, they slant it towards "keep the little woman in the kitchen" and claim that will help her not get cancer.
I feel sick. Excuse me while I go bash my head against the nearest wall.
about Martha Stewart. FUNNY.
Man keeps two wives and identities in the same town. After his legal wife died, he ran off and married the other one.
He'll let you check in, but he won't let you check out.
"It's June. Wedding bells ring. Dewey-eyed brides float down the aisles in strapless gowns. Hovering over it all, meanwhile, is a pushy bridal media, focused on the union of mating to materialism, not wife to husband."
The wedding industry is pretty much recession-proof.
Just look at how small this wish list is now. EVERYTHING has been bought. Holy cow.
I fear that in a few years this will happen here.
hypocrite. I'd love to hear Al's comments on this later.
