July 15, 2003

Love, exciting and new...not

The poor schmuck on Boy Meets Boy isn't happy about them having straight ringers in the show. Big surprise. Even sadder, one of the gay contestants fell for one of the straight ones.

Posted by Jenmoon at 01:53 PM | Comments (0)

July 14, 2003

LORD oh lord oh lord

Jenna from Survivor and other reality TV bimbos to star in "Pieces of Ass." Yes, really. There's even piecesofass.com, which I am so not checking while at work, yo.

Posted by Jenmoon at 12:14 PM | Comments (0)

Temper, temper

I haven't watched this, but apparently someone on Big Brother 4 got kicked out for throwing chairs around. He also broke down and confessed to having an STD on camera...man. Ouch.

Posted by Jenmoon at 11:43 AM | Comments (0)

July 10, 2003

Oh man, don't you feel sorry for this guy.

It's The Truman Show, with a competition thrown in: "In "Joe Schmo" (debuting Sept. 7 at 9 p.m. on Spike TV), producers will set up their mark, law-school dropout Matt Kennedy Gould, convincing him he's been cast on a "Big Brother"-style reality show called "Lap of Luxury."
Gould believes he's competing for $100,000. The twist is that his housemates and competitors are actually actors - manipulating him for all the laughs they can muster."

The sick thing is? I'd probably watch it.

Posted by Jenmoon at 12:15 PM | Comments (0)

Let's hope they don't try this in America

Japanese reality TV forces virgins to lose it on TV. Too bad it's too late to send Britney over to Japan...

Posted by Jenmoon at 10:20 AM | Comments (0)

July 09, 2003

From Justin to Kelly

146 Reasons to Hate It. Good lord, this sounds bad. Not that I expected that or anything :P

Posted by Jenmoon at 10:35 AM | Comments (0)

July 08, 2003

Can't argue with...

this: "I find it disgusting that we still aren’t allowed same sex marriages, yet we can auction off lifetime – or, you know, a month or so – commitments to strangers on TV for cash prizes. Good game, people. Way to make a mockery of the very same arguments you’re using to deny gays and lesbians the right to marriage. I’m totally sure this is exactly what your god had in mind when he declared marriage as a sacred thing, no sodomites allowed."

Posted by Jenmoon at 09:11 AM | Comments (0)

June 26, 2003

Another one of those "wish I had cable" moments.

This sounds like cool reality TV.

Posted by Jenmoon at 01:49 PM | Comments (6)

June 19, 2003

All right!

Paul the Butler's getting a gig on One Life To Live!

Posted by Jenmoon at 04:09 PM | Comments (8)

June 16, 2003

Man, the end of "Joe Millionaire" gets worse and worse.

Evan wanted one of the production people, was encouraged to pick Zora. I'd heard the first bit before, can't say I'm surprised to hear the latter.

Posted by Jenmoon at 02:49 PM | Comments (3)

June 12, 2003

Why on earth is Celebrity Mole...

allowing old participants to return?

Posted by Jenmoon at 02:05 PM | Comments (3)

June 09, 2003

News to me.

So, Evan did get to take Mary Hart on a date. I shudder to think how that went.

Posted by Jenmoon at 09:50 AM | Comments (3)

This news will surprise absolutely no one.

Of course they'll be in Playboy. Wouldn't you think that Heidi's employers might object to that? You can just hear the students going, "Ooooh, let's go ogle Miss Strobel's ass!"

Posted by Jenmoon at 09:46 AM | Comments (3)

June 05, 2003

May 30, 2003

I don't get...

why anyone would want to go on this show anyway.

Posted by Jenmoon at 12:23 PM | Comments (3)

May 27, 2003

Oh my lord.

Anyone else think this is just sick? Who the hell would sign up to be on this show as one of the ringers? "Boy Meets Boy" features an eligible man looking for love in a pool of 15 potential mates. But in a twist worthy of the bogus baron on Fox's "Joe Millionaire," some of the suitors are actually heterosexual men who were paid by the program to pretend to be gay -- unbeknownst to the eligible bachelor."

Posted by Jenmoon at 12:44 PM | Comments (3)

May 23, 2003

Thanks for sharing...

that you're practicing to have children already. Let's just see if this engagement lasts a month first before we go there.

Posted by Jenmoon at 11:32 AM | Comments (3)

This is just the cutest!

Not Very Big Brother features plastic people living in a cardboard house. Hee!

Posted by Jenmoon at 11:00 AM | Comments (3)

May 20, 2003

Why did I dream about...

this couple last night? I dreamed I was Jill and I ran off on Kevin at the resort we were staying at and fled to Canada with a friend to get away from him, but he kept cluelessly chasing me.

I guess reality TV does rot your brain after all.

Posted by Jenmoon at 10:25 AM | Comments (9)

May 16, 2003

Reality TV show ideas

Brought to you by FARK.com and Photoshop.

This idea is damned funny, too. "Gather up a handful of outcast ex-reporters. Instead of making them eat rats on a remote island, give them a job. A second chance. A tryout position at a big-city daily newspaper.

Like all good reality TV shows, this one would be cruel. For starters, six unemployed people would be competing for a single job. And to heighten the on-camera tension, each reporter would be given nerve-wracking, pressure-filled assignments. High-profile stories. Stories about intensely private public figures. Stories that are impossible to report without anonymous sources. In other words, assignments that offer easy opportunities for made-up sources and made-up quotes.

It's the journalistic version of Temptation Island."

Posted by Jenmoon at 01:23 PM | Comments (9)

May 15, 2003

Another Joe Millionaire

Don't ask me how, but they're planning on doing it.

Posted by Jenmoon at 04:39 PM | Comments (9)

There will be an all-star Survivor edition after all

It's unclear exactly who will be in it, though Rich, Tina, Ethan, Rudy, and Jerri have been hinted at at the very least.

Posted by Jenmoon at 09:54 AM | Comments (3)

May 13, 2003

Jenna and Christy...

sorta made up, I guess.

As for Jenna winning, I'm not even gonna disgust...er, I mean, discuss it. Okay, I'll let someone else discuss it. "How the hell did lazy, self-centered Jenna end up getting six out of seven of the jury's votes, when her competitor, Matthew, appeared to be her superior both in contributions to the camp and in not pissing off his fellow tribesmen? And why the hell didn't Jeff Probst, who promised to ask this question at the beginning of the reunion show, ever get around to doing so?

Based on the episodes that I watched, I thought Matthew was a lock to win the million. Sure, he was a tad creepy; how could you not be a little suspicious of a guy who describes a Saturn Ion as "so cool?" But creepy or not, Matthew spent the majority of his time in camp working for the good of the tribe instead of flashing his boobies. Never once did he cluelessly insult the deaf chick or the old chicks. Nor did he whine about his debilitating beauty, or his raging case of "phlaryngitis," or the tragic destruction of his heirloom sorority sweater.

And yet, in the end the score stood at 6-1 Jenna. And Jeff Probst didn't bother to find out why that happened.

I understand that the editors have to piece together something approximating entertainment from hours of raw footage that mostly consists of vapid people sitting around scratching themselves. I also realize that some liberties are taken with the footage during the editing process in order to add suspense. But when the final vote seemingly comes from completely out of the blue, I'm left wondering why I bothered watching at all."

Posted by Jenmoon at 11:16 AM | Comments (3)

May 09, 2003

So much for that "continued engagement."

Jill and Kevin, the "still engaged" couple on Married By America? Not so much.

Posted by Jenmoon at 01:42 PM | Comments (9)

May 08, 2003

I think Jay's idea will someday be a big hit.

"I’ve got an idea for a show in my head, called Is That The Worst You Can Do? The way the show will work is that people film themselves doing the most awful, cruel thing they can come up with to another human being, and the person who is voted for having come up with the meanest stunt wins a cash prize. I haven’t a doubt in my mind that I’ll have no shortage of people ready to film themselves as sadists as long as they are on TV, and I’m quite certain America is just chomping at the bit for the chance to watch people torment people for cash during prime time. My only worry is that it wouldn’t take long for someone to send in a tape of himself committing murder. And that’s the sort of thing you’d really like to hold off on until May sweeps."

Posted by Jenmoon at 08:13 AM | Comments (9)

May 06, 2003

The newest Amazing Race features...

a pair of virgins that have been dating for 12 years. Twelve years, people. Really, you've been dating THAT LONG and don't know whether you want to fish or cut bait yet? You'd think that lifelong virgins-until-marriage might be more interested in that priority and er, move a little quicker.

And what's with the "Friends/dating?" Are they confused?

Posted by Jenmoon at 12:37 PM | Comments (3)

Mr. Hypnotism.

"At this point I am really hoping that she catches on to this slimeball in a hurry. If he succeeds in hocus-pocusing Hayley into his bed though, I’ll spend the rest of my life buying every copy of “How to Pick Up Trashy Women” and “Mind Control For Dummies” that I can lay my hands on. To think that I’ve wasted all this time being honest and open with women. I’ll also be buying stock in every single publishing company that ever printed a book on hypnotism. Seriously though, Chris best hope he scores big with Hayley because now that this show has aired the odds on him ever getting a woman to pay attention to him again are slim. I can see it now. “Your cheap Jedi mind tricks won’t work on me, boy! Thanks for the $100 dinner and the $500 night on the town. Here’s Heidi Fleiss’ phone number.”

Wouldn't this show be really interesting if the masks looked like this?

Posted by Jenmoon at 09:27 AM | Comments (3)

May 01, 2003

They'll be doing this in America by when, next month?

Apparently in Australia, they've got a reality show where they have women forcing their boyfriends to marry them on TV. Only guess what, a quickie wedding is illegal in Australia! But not here, so...

Posted by Jenmoon at 10:00 AM | Comments (3)

April 30, 2003

Edwardian Country House

Reality TV as an 18th century dating show. Actually, this sounds rather fun to watch, though ugh on the chaperones.

Posted by Jenmoon at 10:30 AM | Comments (18)

April 29, 2003

Who wants to be on the Donald Trump reality show?

This sounds dull as shit to me, but I adore Invinciblegirl's pretend application for it.

"4. Why do you seriously believe you could be “The Apprentice”

Man, I’ve watched Fantasia like 80 times. I love it when those brooms start sweeping and dancing and then turn into miniature evil OCD brooms that sweep Mickey into oblivion until he has to be rescued by the scary mean sorcerer. I can be your Mickey, Donald. Just give me a chance.

8. What assets do you bring to “The Apprentice” that would make you a useful member of the group:

Well, I don’t want to call it a complete lack of morality or ethics, guys, but I would kill a baby for $100 bucks. Plus I’ve got a great rack."

Posted by Jenmoon at 12:31 PM | Comments (4)

Yet another aspiring reality TV star

This one's a teenager who started his own online show featuring partying and drinking. I assume next year when he's legal he'll be auditioning for MTV.

Posted by Jenmoon at 11:06 AM | Comments (3)

Hee!

Mr. Personality: "Throughout this conversation, Chris (dark green) is perched atop a staircase like a buzzard waiting for his meal to gasp out that final breath so he can claim a snack. He thinks he’s gone unnoticed, but we hear Hayley talking about him in a voiceover and she says, “Maybe he thought he was a guardian angel or something but it kinda creeped me out.” Honey, there are ten guys walking around the house in hooded masks. Some are hiding in plants, one is perched atop the stairs, and one of them is going to potentially be your life-mate. Your sole advisor in all of this is Monica Lewinsky. A weekend with the Addams Family would be less creepy!"

Posted by Jenmoon at 09:07 AM | Comments (3)

April 28, 2003

Roseanne wants to do two more shows.

One's called "The Domestic Goddess Hour," and hell, given what kind of one Roseanne is (Cheetos in the couch), I'd prefer watching her to frigging Martha any day. The other is...er, a reality series about her making The Domestic Goddess Hour. That might be downright frightening. But hey, at least she's got a few more brain cells than Anna Nicole.

Posted by Jenmoon at 11:32 AM | Comments (2)

Eh, I'd probably watch it

If I had cable, anyway. Though I don't really think the programming sounds that great so far.

Posted by Jenmoon at 11:01 AM | Comments (5)

April 25, 2003

More on the "OJ show"

O.J. Simpson could become the star of a new reality television show that would be centered around snippets of his appearances at hip-hop concerts.

But his lawyer says there's one problem: Simpson hasn't been approached by the companies that are planning to create the show.

"He's not in a show," Simpson's attorney Yale Galander said Wednesday. "They can't have a reality TV show and call it the O.J. Simpson TV show without our involvement."

Urban Television Network Corporation, a Fort Worth-based satellite and cable channel, and Miami production company Spiderboy International said they are planning to create 13 one-hour episodes of the show using archived footage of Simpson."

"I have no plans in any way to do a reality show even though people have approached me about it." He has, however, figured out what he wants to be when he grows up.

Posted by Jenmoon at 08:05 AM | Comments (2)

April 24, 2003

Hey! Who wants to lock some celebrities up in jail?

The latest reality idea.

Posted by Jenmoon at 01:50 PM | Comments (2)

April 23, 2003

Oh, no. Oh no no no no no. Please, NO.

O.J. Simpson. Getting his own show. Oh dear fucking God. Sure, kill your ex and her friend, get a TV show, no problem! What, is Scott Peterson going to get one in a few years?

Posted by Jenmoon at 12:07 PM | Comments (2)

April 14, 2003

I want a Monster Home!

If only I had a house and lived in LA... "Welcome to Monster House, a new show that transforms ordinary homes into functional themed masterpieces. Are you a golf-lover? Give us your house for seven days, and you may return to a nine-hole green in your back yard. Partial to castles? Then obviously you have need of a moat and drawbridge. Or perhaps you're Goth-esque, and favor a coffin for a bed."

Posted by Jenmoon at 10:12 PM | Comments (29)

April 08, 2003

Who did CBS employees place their bets on?

If you want to know, look here. My thoughts on this are hidden below...

Jenna and Matt?!?! I will be amazed if Matt makes it, given his whole crazy vibe of late (note: I don't think he's crazy, actually, not like, say, JoAnna, Ghandia, Linda...). Jenna, well, she's in the right alliance, but I hope to god a bimbo like her doesn't win or I'll have to shoot my television. Outwit, my ass.

Posted by Jenmoon at 11:04 AM | Comments (29)

Ah, the irony

You know, when I first saw that gicky ad where the little AOL man lays some blonde chick, someone said to me, "Isn't that Sharon Stone?" "I don't think so," I said, "it's probably a lookalike. There's no way Sharon Stone would be in something remotely this stupid." Uh, yeah, I was wrong. "It says a lot about how degraded her profile has become that many people don't even recognize her in the AOL ad...All of which may explain why the actress was willing to debase herself for AOL. She was desperate for the work."

Posted by Jenmoon at 10:38 AM | Comments (16)